Yesterday I had to email my psychiatrist to ask him to fax a prescription for Topamax to the drugstore for me. At the same time I had to let him know how I was doing now after having been on the Topamax for almost four weeks. I was afraid to tell him that I was [...]

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Yesterday, I was having coffee with my sister and I finally told her that for a while there I had been abusing alcohol and she told me that she already knew about that. I asked her how she knew and she told me that my daughter had told her. She then told me, that once [...]

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There was a very interesting book at the library called the Care Book for Manic-Depressive People and it was written so well and gave lots of information. It assumed that you knew very little about the subject and then proceeded to explain everything to you. Like: Everything you ever wanted to know about Bipolar. Eduard [...]

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I went to the doctor on Tuesday and he thought I might have a virus in my stomach which is causing cramping so he gave me some medication for that. It is slowly getting better, and I hope it really is only a virus and not some complication with the gastric band. All I have [...]

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Since Saturday morning I have pain in the places where my gastric band and portal are. I woke up with it in the morning and last night the pain woke me up out of a sound sleep. I suppose I should worry about that. I think I will make an appointment with my GP, because [...]

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Eduard’s Birthday

Well, Friday night has come and gone. We had people over for dinner and that went alright. I made my meatballs and Eduard took care off the curly cabbage and the potatoes. There was one vegetarian and we had a meat substitute for him. So, dinner was done by eight o’clock and I was looking [...]

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Tonight we are having people over for dinner as a prelude to Eduard’s birthday which is Sunday. I am not in the right mood at all, as it means making myself and the apartment presentable and being kind and alert and witty. And I have to make my famous Dutch meatballs. I am just not [...]

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I had a good day yesterday. I didn’t accomplish much of anything, but I had a good day, meaning my mood was mostly good. Occasionally, a hint of despair would hit me, but it was always just for a few seconds and then it was gone again. I think it was just the fear of [...]

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Yesterday afternoon I was to the point of despair and I felt so bad that I left a message for my psychiatrist to call me back. I was ready to have myself committed and I was looking forward to that. I didn’t know how to get out of the hole I was in. Everything seemed [...]

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Finally.

I think I’ve got the drinking out of my system now. Yesterday I started drinking at noon time, but I stopped at 3 pm and drank decaf after that. It is my plan not to drink at all today and if I do want a drink, to examine why I want one. I have been [...]

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