Okay, back to normal, or as normal as I can get it for right now. I woke up very early and couldn’t sleep anymore and felt a little bit distracted and uptight and then more and more so and finally realized that I had forgotten to take all of my medications before I went to bed last night. So, I took some of them and I will wait with the rest, because in a few hours it will be time to take those. Slowly I am starting to feel a little bit more normal again. It is not good to forget the medications! Especially not the ones that help make you think straight.
I had an especialy tiring day yesterday and I think it was an especially emotionally tiring day. In the morning I saw my SPN and that actually was fine, but it did get a train of thought going within myself about my past marriage and it was hard to put a stop to it, especially as I had an appointment with Eduard later in the afternoon to see the divorce mediator.
I don’t think it is a very good thing for me to see that much of Eduard right now, but it can’t be helped as there are all these details we need to take care off, but he does end up taking up a lot of space in my head, to the point that I start to think that he is living here again and that I forget that I can go my own way and do things as I want them.
The appointment with the mediator went fine too and a lot of things were clarified. It was a very intensive conversation and we had to answer a lot of questions, but we do know where we stand financially now and the picture isn’t all that bleak. We’ll both manage.
I have to go to the Center for Work and Income today to get myself registered to get my welfare payment started and my subsidies on rent etc. I also have to go to the bank to change my account back into my maiden name and make in Internet accessible and have Eduard’s name removed from it.
I had to send away for a new copy of our marriage certificate from the Sonoma County Courthouse, but I was able to do that on line and I hope that all works out well, as it was very expensive to do and it will be sent by FedEx and should be here soon. I have yet to receive a confirming email, though. If this doesn’t work out, my daughter will have to get it for me and send it to me by regular mail.
Well, I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
This morning I have ergo-therapy and I am looking forward to that, because I feel a certain amount of stress and hope to get rid of some of it there. It will be good to sit around that big table and talk.
It is good to listen to the things that keep other people busy, what occupies their minds, what they worry about, what sort of troubles they run into. It puts things into perspective. You look at yourself and see that maybe you are not so bad off in comparison, that at least you would not want to trade your set of troubles for theirs. Some people get really raw deals.
Well, this is just a short post. I hope to be completely invigorated by the next and be roaring like a tiger and ready to tackle which ever problem comes my way.
Ciao…
I see you’re doing the do things, Nora with the odd little setback but keep on keeping strong!
XO
WWW
Don’t forget the medication. It is important that!
Once you get all the loose ends tied up, you will do great. Seeing Eduard so often can’t be good for you. Did he take two of the cats? Strange that reminded me…….I was dreaming of my cats that have been long dead, last night. I was in a strange house with them & strangers with gangs of children kept coming into my house and frightened them! Weird!
Oh well we can’t be responsible for our dreams!
It is raining today! I wonder if it will blow over your way?
Hope your day goes well, Nora. X
I hope you have a good ergo-therapy session today. It is good to keep in contact with other people and hear what they have to say. I tend to get so wrapped up in my own stuff (problems, worries, just things that keep you busy) that it is good to see that other people are also out there. And they’re also struggling sometimes. And sometimes not so much. It just helps to realise that you’re not on your own, even though your particular set of worries might be very unique. Which our worries usually aren’t. I find it amazing that a lot of people worry about the same things, even though you wouldn’t think it from the outside. But once you start talking you realise we’re all very much alike sometimes.
And it’s good to hear that the session with the mediator revealed you’ll be fine financially.
It is an emotionally tough time for you right now, you can’t avoid contact with Eduard because you need things to be sorted. But you’ll need less and less contact and you’ll see – you’ll be perfectly fine!
Sounding better, with something else to do today – this one should help you on the way to independence in your head.
You are busy at the moment and having to get so many things organised and thought about – so make sure and look after yourself.
As we always say to Diane, don’t get too tired and do too much. It will take time, dear one.
No quick fixes, they usually fall apart very soon! LOL
Hope the day goes well and you enjoy the erog therapy.
CUL8R
Sounding better, with something else to do today – this one should help you on the way to independence in your head.
You are busy at the moment and having to get so many things organised and thought about – so make sure and look after yourself.
As we always say to Diane, don’t get too tired and do too much. It will take time, dear one.
No quick fixes, they usually fall apart very soon! LOL
Hope the day goes well and you enjoy the ergo therapy.
CUL8R
sorry about messing up your blog – I managed to post 2 – the first is about erog therapy – whatever that is. but I can’t see any way of removing it.
You’re doing well Nora. Just take things a step at a time and be nice to yourself and get plenty of Jesker cuddles.
Seeing so much of Eduard right now, would not be good. Your are trying to move forward, seeing him would trigger emotions, that are inevitable to have. He should not just show up, it is now YOUR home.
Your courage makes me want to hug you. I want you to know how much I admire your strength. You are an amazing person NORA, and I want you to stay well. Don’t skip the medication and keep going to the appointments, even when you don’t want to. Jesker sounds like such a healing factor and I am glad he is yours.
Love you, my sweet friend.
So does this mean the SPN is accepting the new Nora?
Knowing psychiatric workers – they never really do accept our changes you know. The girl who was in the bed next to me went through some major changes in her life. She quit all of her medications and went on that super vitamin that I have mentioned to you at http://www.truehope.com
Anyway – she is as close to ‘normal’ as anyone is now and when she went back to her psychiatrist to show him how good she was? He scoffed at her great mental health and told her it was all in her head – no pun intended I’m assuming – and that she would be right back to where she was when she was in the hospital. 6 years later and she hasn’t regressed or been back to the psychiatrist. Imagine that!
Hi Nora, het dringt nu pas tot me door dat je in scheiding ligt.
Hoop dat het goed met je gaat. Uit wat ik lees mag ik misschien concluderen dat je de schouders er flink onder zet.
Ik heb het inmiddels 3 jaar achter me liggen en het gaat me goed. Als je zin hebt om te mailen of vragen hebt, aarzel niet.
Ik vind je nieuwe naam mooi, eigenlijk het tegenovergestelde van Irene. Heel bijzonder…..nieuw leven nieuwe naam
Nora, I have an award for you at my place…
You will be roaring like a tiger soon, and coping with what life throws at you. I know what you mean about keeping problems in perspective, it does help sometimes to point you in the direction of counting your blessings instead.
Moving along at a nice clip. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Haste makes waste. Let’s face it we all have something going on, problems, issues etc. some talk about, others can’t, some won’t, some in denial. Bottomline.. we learn from each other and you are not alone.
We’ll stand beside you through thick and thin. It’s going to be a fun journey.
Keep smiling! Art, make some art that always helps.
xo Andrea
Nora!!! I’ve been away, sick son and now I have the crud, but YOU, you woman are doing wonderfully! I am so proud of you. Single and strong my friend, it’s a nice thing, no?
I am so glad to be reading your last few posts, you are shaping up to the Nora in you that has always been. I love it.
Take care xoxox