Running ahead of myself.

4:00 PM. On the day after the day you say you feel depressed, you will feel better. That’s some sort of a rule that has been confirmed by my SPN this morning. It is the very act of owning up to the mood and allowing yourself to have it and not fight it anymore, that [...]

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This one’s for Wednesday.

3:30 PM. Today I had to admit to myself a truth that I had not wanted to admit to, namely that if it looks like a duck and it acts like a duck, it must be a duck. So, if it looks like a depression and it acts like a depression, it must be a [...]

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Nest of Comfort.

Someone has come along and pulled the plug on my reservoir of happiness and now I sit here with a bit of doom and gloom, feeling sad and very tired, hardly able to finish reading all the blogs and not quite knowing how to tackle the rest of the day and finding myself postponing that [...]

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Karel Appel Images number 4.

In order to read all of my blogs, I spent several hours during the night reading them from the bottom of the list up to the top. I stopped at one point and went back to bed and then got up several hours later and picked up where I left off. I didn’t leave comments [...]

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Picasso Images number 3.

I have not yet made it down my long list of blogs that I read and Eduard says that maybe I read too many and that I should cut down the list, but I wouldn’t know which blogs to cut and I think I will leave it the way it is and just not worry [...]

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Karel Appel Images number 3.

I have just woken up for the third time this past night and morning. At each instance I read some blogs and was planning on writing a post, but nothing came of it, as I had to shut the computer down prematurely and take a pill and go back to bed. I am feeling very [...]

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Monet Images number 1.

It is still very early in the morning and I have been up for hours, but it doesn’t matter, because right now my schedule can be however it wants to be and I take advantage of the hours that I feel reasonably well. I know that in a short time, I will take all my [...]

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Van Gogh Images number 1

Yesterday I rushed through my post to keep any evil thoughts at bay, today I will go slowly and quietly as I have just taken an extra Oxazepam and I think it will work shortly and keep me quite calm. I have decided that, however long it will take me to write this post, I [...]

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Karel Appel Images number1.

It has been an up and down day already and what do you write about when you want to avoid the one subject that is most on your mind? You take a big sip of your big mug of coffee and light a cigarette and have a good ponder over. Something will surely come to [...]

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Tuesday Evening.

My psychiatrist worked his magic with the right amount and the right combination of medicines and last night, with one interruption, I slept nine hours. Yes, it is unbelievable! For a change I wasn’t sitting here behind the computer in the middle of the night like a mad woman, manically typing, but I was in [...]

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