I went to the doctor on Tuesday and he thought I might have a virus in my stomach which is causing cramping so he gave me some medication for that. It is slowly getting better, and I hope it really is only a virus and not some complication with the gastric band. All I have is pain, no nausea or heartburn or anything like that. I didn’t do much as a result of that and just sort of hung out and watched TV. Yesterday I vacuumed and my stomach was none the worse for it. I thought it was going to cause me more pain, but it didn’t.
Yesterday I started on 75 mg Topamax. I still feel good and I am not afraid anymore that I am going to jinx myself. I think this time it is somewhat permanent, or as permanent as it can get. I don’t want to say yet that I am happy, but given certain circumstances, I could be, there is the potential anyway. I worry about my daughter and her happiness, and if I knew that she was happy, I would be happy too. You never stop being a mom, no matter how old your offspring gets.
I ordered and read a mildly interesting book called The Bipolar Balancing Act. I think it was a book with good intentions, but little substance and in the end it was not very helpful. So, I will go back to Bol.com and search some more for a better book. I get most of my wisdom from books, I am a firm believer in the written word. Luckily, I am able to differentiate between sense and nonsense and I always remain a critical reader. I also need to go to the library website and see what books they have on Bipolar Disorder. I may not have to buy one at all, of course.
I haven’t been drinking at all anymore, except for the three glasses of white wine I had for Eduard’s birthday. Sometimes I feel like having a screwdriver, but I always resist the temptation and I will save the craving for a special occasion. Because I can’t drink beer and red wine, I thought I could not drink any alcohol at all, so it came as a nice surprise that I could, and that I could handle it pretty well.
Yesterday, the weather was so beautiful that my sister and I sat outside in her garden in the sunshine without our jackets on. It is going to stay that way for a few more days. So far, we are having a very mild winter and that has been very pleasant. Of course, March and April can bring very unpredictable weather, so we are not out of the woods yet. We are very lucky compared to the people in the North Eastern USA where so much snow has fallen. I understand that they have real blizzards there.
Well, time to get the show on the road. Today is Saturday, tomorrow is carnival. Hurray!
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