So, I actually managed to sleep for quite a long spell. I stayed awake all day yesterday until 5:30 pm, which is no small feat as I had been up since midnight. Finally, I started to cave in and went to bed after taking all of my medicines and was out cold after a very short time. I slept until 2 am this morning, which I think is not half bad.
Now all I have to do is stay awake longer tonight and sleep longer the next morning and maybe slowly I will get back to a more normal schedule. Still I had my eight hours of sleep and that’s not half bad, I just didn’t have them at the right time yet.
I did this sleeping with the aid of an oxazepam along with my sleeping pills, which I am sure my psychiatrist will not be happy about, but which I am going to do until I get back to a more normal schedule.
I weighed myself this morning and I was 87 kilos, which is okay. I have bought bread rolls which are only half the size of regular bread rolls and make for a good little sandwich with thin sliced chicken fillet on it. I also bought them the same size in raisin buns and they make for a good little treat. They are just big enough for me to eat so it doesn’t bother my gastric band.
I am eating those and nonfat yogurt and Cup a Soups. Occasionally, I will eat some of Eduard’s dinner, but more often than not, I end up above the toilet when I do, so I guess I shouldn’t bother and do that anymore. My eyes are bigger than my stomach and I eat too fast.
Yesterday I had Eduard cut of a big branch of the now bare Golden Rain. I put it in the vase where I also had the branches with the little lights on them and then went to the store and bought some Christmas decorations and decorated all the branches to give the living room a festive look after all. It turned out rather well. I have beads and balls and a single gauzy butterfly sitting at the top and some red rocking horses as well for a touch of color.
I had given away my Christmas decorations to my sister some years ago, thinking I was never going to decorate a tree again, because I found myself to be always depressed at Christmas time, but this year is different and I may start up a whole new tradition of decorating bare, lighted up branches.
The cats have been curious, but so far they have left the beads and balls untouched, so I hope they keep ignoring them. They could reach them via one of their scratching poles, but none of them has tried it yet. I have visions of the whole thing toppling over, but so far, so good. There isn’t another place I can put it and maybe they instinctively know how much these decorated branches mean to me. That’s what I’ll assume then.
I think I have been rating myself with sixes for something like nine days now and let me tell you something, it is very boring. I am turning into such a dull person. The living room is all done and I don’t have anything exciting to do right now and I think I am just such a dull person for Eduard to come home to, although maybe he likes that, I don’t know. It is possible that he got a bit worn out when I was scoring eights and nines. To him it may seem like peace and quiet, but to me it just seems like a dull roar with nothing happening. Did I wish for this? Well, occasionally maybe, but not non stop like this.
I would like a bit of my hypo mania back, just enough to make my life a bit more exciting than it is now. I do have a good time when I am home by myself in the mornings, but when Eduard comes home in the afternoons, I secretly want something to happen and when it doesn’t, I am disappointed. We both sit there like two old fogies and do absolutely nothing and it is so boring! Of course, when Eduard asks me what I want to do instead, I can’t come up with anything sensible at all, but I am sure that I could if I were hypo manic.
Of course, I am forgetting what our last couple of weeks have been like, so full of activity and I counted that we have made at least eleven changes to the living room. Actually, the stress of it was getting to me in the end and I was getting grumpy because of it, but still…I do want something to happen.
I got an email from my daughter saying that, because of the bad weather in the States, their flight has been delayed until Wednesday, so they will not get here until Friday evening or Saturday morning. They are flying through Toronto, that’s why. This will be good news to my sister, who is swamped with work and other activities right now and she was hoping that they wouldn’t show up too soon. I don’t mind too much, I know she is coming and a few more days will not make a difference. I mind it for her, because it means that she will have less time to spend here.
I definitely need a pair of slippers. I am sitting here with my socks on getting cold feet anyway. Maybe Santa can bring me some, so if Santa reads this weblog…please? I am size 41!
Yesterday was such a darn cold day. The wind was blowing too, making it extra cold. It was not a day to be out for your pleasure and the dog and I didn’t go for a long walk. We just took mini walks. As soon as he had done his business, we headed home again.
I went grocery shopping in the morning and wore a triple layer of clothes under my coat and my scarf and gloves. I need bigger bags on my bike, because I am limited in how much I can buy in one trip by the size of them. I can’t ride my bike holding a bag in my hand, because I can’t steer with one hand. I tried that and I am an accident waiting to happen. The heavier the bag, the worse it gets. I have bike intimidation. I get intimidated by my bike and my ability to do things with it if I also have to do other things. It’s from living in the States for many years and doing groceries by car and losing my bicycle handiness abilities. You see mothers with one child on the back and one child in a seat on the front and two bags of shopping on the handlebars, I could never do that. We would all die in a terrible accident.
Well, anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. The other blogs are calling me. The lure of all the other words and the art work.
Have yourself a great day, don’t fall off your bike, ciao…
I like the idea of your bare branch all lit up and decorated. I bet it is lovely. Our tree is up. This morning when we came in from the bedroom, we found our yellow kitty asleep up at the top of the tree. That was new. The cats used to just bat the decorations around.
Glad you’re getting your sleep in order. It’s good to have a nice regular night of sleep. You’ll be there soon.
If I had to ride my bike to grocery shop, my family would starve. There’s no way I could get home with a week’s worth of food for five!
Six sounds like a good number, Nice and even.
I have had to ride my bike on occasions to the grocery store. The weight of shopping bags on the handles make it difficult to steer!
Great that your daughter is coming soon, even if she has been delayed somewhat.
Sorry, I’ve been so lax on posting lately, but for some reason seem to be getting further and further behind in commenting. So many blogs, so little time 🙂 Nice that you feel like decorating for Christmas. And something nice and simple which doesn’t overwhelm and looks great to boot (I’m sure). Today is my early day and so I can’t write much, but you are in my thoughts and so glad you are on an even keel 🙂
i, too, love the idea of branches done up with beads and balls. it sounds lovely and sort of minimalist in a graceful way.
don’t long for the hypo days, irene. that’s dangerous.
you aren’t dull. not in the least. i have a dear friend who went through an extreme extended hypo phase earlier this year, and she went through literally all of her money and is now in danger of losing her house. i worry, i worry.
fives and sixes are safer. we want you safe, dear.
I’m with the others, Irene, sixes are fine. I don’t think you’re boring at all, though. I read what you’ve been doing to your living room and all the decorations and your artwork and I wonder. You’ve been busy girl!
I can just picture me on the bike with two bags on the handlebars. A disaster waiting to happen! When I lived in the north of Germany I didn’t have a car and therefore did ALL my shopping by bike. But I was living on my own, so it wasn’t too bad. But I never managed the bags on handlebars thing right. If I had more than my basket in the back and my backpack could hold I’d take an extra bag but I’d have to push the bike. Anything else would’ve landed me in hospital I’m sure. Here in Ireland I don’t even have a bicycle and if I did I wouldn’t be able to use it anywhere around our place. Have you seen the roads in rural Ireland?! Wayyyy too dangerous for a cyclist.
By the way, there’s an award waiting for you at my place… Happy Tuesday!
Hi Irene,
Your little tree branches sound delightful.
I have an idea … I understand that you are feeling … that lack of excitement from the mania … but what if you put that boredom into creativity?
You have been saying you want to make some things. You felt quite fulfilled in the redecorating .. that is creative also.
Why not try making things (perhaps after your daughter leaves?) .. my guess is you will feel differently when you have a place to channel your passion …
just a thought. Good luck!!!
~ Diane Clancy
http://www.dianeclancy.com/blog