It is obvious that a depressed person can not write an interesting post to her blog. So the answer is simple. Either I write no post, or I stop writing the minute I think my depression makes this post uninteresting. I hope I have enough sense to know when that is. God forbid I should spread my fatalistic points of view over the Internet and cause some sort of epidemic.
It is morning now and the dog has been walked and Eduard has gone to work. I really should be doing some housework now, but I have been sitting here reading other people’s blogs and drinking coffee all in a very leisurely manner as if I have all the time in the world. And to be truthful, because who am I kidding, I do have all the time in the world, because there is nobody here with a stopwatch to time if I have the dishes done by ten o’clock. I am my own boss, after all, and there is no time card to punch.
It makes me realize, especially today, how fortunate I am that I can dictate how little stress I can have in my life and how I can manage to keep it down to an absolute minimum. I suppose it would be nice if I brought home a paycheck, because some extra money is always nice, but the price I would pay for that would be high and I am very happy that I can sit here and type this in a very relaxed and unrushed manner without anyone looking over my shoulder. All the things I need to do, will get done.
I am also very fortunate that I have a husband who is not high maintenance and who has very few requirements because he is so self sufficient. That does not mean that I can neglect him, but it does mean that he functions very well regardless of my mood. The man is very emancipated, but I am glad that he allows me to do some things for him still, such as ironing his shirts and matching his socks and making meatballs for him when I am in an especially good mood.
I slept eight hours last night and I did this in spite of the fact that I took a long nap in the afternoon on the sofa. You can see that I am catching up on all of my sleep. It is a wondrous thing to wake up in the morning and to know that you have had a good night’s sleep and to actually feel well rested and clear headed. It gives you more courage to start the day with and it makes you more hopeful about the hours that you are awake.
My sister and I took the dogs for a long walk yesterday and I always go, even when I don’t feel all that great, because I think that walking the dog some distance is better than staying indoors and not being out in the cold fresh air. It is my antidote to somber moods and I think it helps. It is easier to go for a walk with someone else than to go by yourself, it motivates you to walk a greater distance.
Jesker loves it, because he can sniff to his heart’s contend and piddle all over bushes and blades of grass. It’s a lot of work for him, marking the neighborhood and making sure that his scent covers all the obvious spots. It must be very frustrating to him sometimes, because you can see where there have been dogs taller than him who have left their marks, but Jesker does his best anyway, except that he runs dry at the end of the walk, so he is always looking for puddles to drink from.
I have gone back to wearing my reading glasses when I am sitting behind the computer. I found myself squinting a little bit too much when I was reading all those blogs. It is all vanity that prevents me from wearing them and the other day I forgot to take them off and walked to the bus stop with them still on my nose. I didn’t occur to me that the world looked a little blurry and I was in a hurry to get some place. Sometimes, I am just a little bit absentminded and I am like those people who bump into telephone poles and apologize to them.
In order not to forget anything, which I easily do, I always have to stick to a strict routine. Everything has to happen very predictably at a certain time in the right order. Change the time and the order and I get completely turned around and forget to do one or more crucial things. This prevents me from being a very spontaneous person, although I have it in my character to be one. I have just conditioned myself to stick to a routine and it has become second nature to me. I also have it in my character to be a little bit obsessive, so these two opposites fight for their position and I am sometimes torn between the two.
I always think that my spontaneous self is the one that gets me into trouble and the controlling self is the one who makes sure everything goes smoothly. My, that makes me sound like I have a split personality like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. One time I was in the hospital with a woman who had multiple personalities and she would enter her room as one person and come out of it as another. It was very strange and spooky and you wanted to shake her and say, “Cut it out.”
Being so close to the psychiatric hospital, we see a lot of odd characters in the street. Some of them rant and rave and you wonder if it is save to let them wander about like that, but they never cause any problems. Some of them are dressed very oddly. There is a woman who is always dressed like a Christmas tree with huge false eyelashes. She is very jealous of other women and swears at them. I think she thinks she is a diva. It does add a touch of local color. It is like we have a lot of village idiots and no, I am not having prejudiced feelings towards psychiatric patients, being one myself. I think they are all rather endearing and I am sure their lives aren’t easy.
I have discovered some more weblogs and I will direct you to them here. It is up to you what you think of them. I find them interesting and worth the visit. My list of blogs is growing and I spend a considerable amount of time visiting them all. Here is the list of them: Crystal Jigsaw, Menopausal Old Bag, The Artful Eye and The way I See It. The last two are by the same artist and she makes very interesting art objects that she shows on both sites. I always forget how I stumble onto these blogs, but one way or the other I end up there and become intrigued by them. Sometimes, they are about things that are far from my particular interest, but I keep going there out of curiosity.
Now I have to pick some images to go with today’s post. I haven’t been making any new ones, so I will have to see what is left to offer you…
Cup a Soup it is, mmm, that makes me hungry! Time to get something to eat. I think my stomach is a black hole that can never be filled, especially in these dark winter months when it is screaming, “Chocolate!” Try and ignore that, will you.
Have a terrific day all of you. I will read all about your adventures tomorrow when I have had another lovely night’s sleep and I have awoken with a smile on my face. Ciao…
I’m so glad you’re getting enough sleep now. A good night’s sleep makes such a big difference!
I love the description of Jesker, he sounds funny! Reminds me a bit of Ben, our last dog. He actually managed to always have enough left until the end of the walk and he made sure every spot was covered. 😉
You said you feel that your spontaneous self gets you into trouble. But don’t forget, the spontaneous one can also be the one giving you some fun in life where sometimes you don’t expect it…. 😉
Have a good Wednesday, Irene!
so glad you’re sleeping. and your blogs are never dull.
Wow – I really love your lively mandalas and patterns, who would think that everyday objects could make such uplifting patterns? It shows that the packaging experts do know what they are doing with their colours – And YIPPEE that you are getting sleep at a time you want. Look after yourself and keep checking in for your virtual friends’ sakes. We look forward to the pretties and to hearing how you are.
I love this mandala, so bright and cheery…just what you and I need! Such beauty in everyday objects.
Jesker seems such a character. I feel that I know him from your posts. He seems to be a well adjusted dog and adds a lot to your and Eduard’s life.
Keep on getting those good night’s sleep. Yea on you!
I had a minestrone cup-a-soup yesterday, and it was lovely! I also had a great night’s sleep, but could have done with another few hours. I felt exhausted this morning.
I wish I had someone to go on a long walk with…or even a dog to walk to give me the motivation! I think a cat would look a bit silly on a lead, don’t you?
Keep smiling. x
Irene, I’m so pleased you’re sleeping. Two nights in a row, no less! I am a bit of an insomniac myself, but I surprised myself last night by going to bed at 11pm and waking at 5:45am, only because hubby let the dogs into sleep with me. It feels lovely, doesn’t it?
I read Crystal Jigsaw, too. I like her writing a lot, especially when she writes about her daughter, Amy.
I don’t see how one can remain somber walking dogs every day. It doesn’t take much to make them happy! It always makes me feel better, too.
Irene, beautiful job again – image and always the words….you are a breath of fresh air. My best, always.
Love to see this mandala – who could have guessed that a cup-a-soup could look so much like a starfish in mandala form! Always enjoy reading your blog very much, and great descriptons of the patients lol
Its great to read from you Irene
btw I take for lunch a cup a soup special mustard, cannot live without it.
I choose your titlesuggestion for my last painting thankyou somuch.
Sleep tight for tonight
I’m so glad that you are finding your sleep pattern again…there is no question that a full night of sleep helps you to feel refreshed.
These links you’ve posted sound intriguing so I will have to check them..especially “Menopausal old Bag”!!! That’s how I feel some days!!
I laughed too that you go out in your glasses sometimes — forgetting that they are on. I’m doing that a lot too!!! I only need them for reading but find as you have, that when I’m on the computer especially I’m keeping them on…then I go about the house with them on and when I’ve gone out and I’m in the car and realize “I can’t see with these on” I shake my head…you’d think the blurriness would alert me…but I think I’m becoming too used to these glasses..and I’ve only had this prescription since August 07!!
Sleep is so healing! When I am going through big things, it’s often the most important thing, not trying to slog through it all! I’m so happy to read that you have been able to sleep again. Good for you.
This is a fun and fabulous piece. I especially like the second one, which looks to me like it is alive and living in the deepest depths of the deepest seas somewhere. It will never be discovered; it’s too smart to let people know of its existence. It’s partially made of light.
Irene,
Your posts are never boring. I love the way you write and the insights you bring.
Glad you had a second night of good sleep, even with a nap. Getting into the sleeping routine will help so much with the depression.
You work, from cup of soup, is incredible. Who knew, such beautiful art could be made from soup jars. So cheery and the colors look amazing.
I am looking forward to checking out some of the blogs you mentioned. I enjoy crystal’s blog too.
XOXOX
Hi Irene,
It is fun to hear your descriptions of the local characters!
I think those of us with limitations (having a serious physical illness myself) often have to have more rigidity to caring for ourselves. I know my balance can get knocked off so easily.
I can be spontaneous within my limits … but not outside.
Take care!
~ Diane Clancy
http://www.dianeclancy.com/blog