Posts Tagged ‘royalty’

Lake Wobegon Days.

Firstly, let me do a good deed for two people who made me smile especially wide when I read my comments tonight. All my comments make me smile as a rule, but these two made me smile more than usual and it is so funny that these two people both had the same sort of idea. They are Miss Understood and Stinking Billy who both sent me a silly poem that was just right to end the day with. I would like to give them this special award:

So, please pick it up and feel free to pass it on to others who made you smile today or any other day.

It’s a little past eleven PM on Tuesday night now. Eduard and I just came home from the film house where I leaned on the bar in my usual spot next to the nachos machine. A man and a woman came to stand there and they were obviously on a date, because the man said very apologetically to the woman, “Well, this is not the most romantic spot to drink our wine.” I could have told him that, because I eavesdrop on everybody and everybody feels that way about the nachos machine.

A funny thing happened. A volunteer colleague of Eduard tried to pick me up. He didn’t know who I was, but I knew who he was and I kept silent about who I was, so it was quite funny and we had a very animated conversation during which I was much flattered. His name is Milout and he comes from Morocco and speaks French fluently and his mother makes the best couscous. He talks very excitedly and with much body language and he is obviously an intelligent guy, but he was quite embarrassed when Eduard walked up to him and asked him in French if he was trying to pick up his wife. Milout said, “Oh no, she is your wife, surely not, you must be joking!” I was most charmed by this Arabic man who understands how to woo a woman. You don’t meet many men like that anymore.


Early Wednesday morning. I suddenly had to go to bed, I was overcome by sleep and nodding off behind the computer. That was before I took my sleeping pills, imagine me afterwards.

I discovered something about being wobbly on the bike. I realized since I had become so much calmer, that I did not need that much oxazepam anymore and that it was even starting to make me feel drugged. So, yesterday I cut back my massive dose of 200 mg to a more sensible dose of 80 mg, which is still a lot and suddenly I feel a lot more clearheaded. I needed them when I did and felt fine on them, but now that I don’t need them that much anymore , they make me feel drugged and drowsy. I am going to cut them down to 40 mg a day and stay on that amount, because I think I will always need a little and it is handy when I can increase the dose if I suddenly have to.

So, I am much less wobbly on the bike and can go at increasingly faster speeds now and that is ever so nice, like last night when it started to rain and we made it home by riding our bikes quickly between the raindrops and we hardly got wet. I am still having a tendency to veer to the right, but I feel much more secure now and that makes a lot of difference. I can’t quite say that I raced Eduard home, but I gave it a try anyway. He would always win that race. He’s like Speedy Gonzales.

Roadside Trees.

I saw my SPN in the morning. I told her about my newly acquired insights into my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and she seemed relieved about that and said she had always been kept up to date about that by my psychiatrist and he had always shown her my emails to him about the subject. I showed her the notes I had made for myself and she asked if she could keep those. She said there is a bit of a waiting list for the personality disorder team, but that she would care for me in the meantime and that there should be no problem with the transfer of me from one caregiver to the next, that is all streamlined.

Actually, for me it is also a relief to have owned up to this bit of myself, especially when I read the various reports and letters about myself that I have always had the copies off in my big organizer. I was so obviously derailed and in such bad shape for such long time and there was such concern for me and my mental state of health. I have so stubbornly refused to see the writing on the wall these past 6 years or so, in the end I only hurt myself with that contrary attitude. It has to do with trusting other people and assuming that they have your best interests at heart.

I see it this way, manic depression is like an illness that you cope with and BPD is like a behavior disorder that you can teach yourself to change in.

Market Stall Shampoos.

Eduard and I wanted to have a cuddle moment yesterday afternoon, but we ended up having such serious talks about all sorts of things and then, worn out, I fell asleep. We are both going through a lot of changes right now and are discovering a lot about ourselves and each other. Sometimes it’s quite scary. I sometimes don’t know where we will end up. I do love him very much and am still very much in love with him. I realize that when I see him in a crowd, like last night at the café and I see him in comparison to other men, and I realize that I wouldn’t want anybody else. “It’s a puzzlement,” as the king of Siam said to Anna.

Oh, I am seeing the physiotherapist on Friday and I am looking forward very much as to what sort of therapy I am going to get. I am secretly hoping for massages, but I should be that lucky, right? “Please massage my back into the right place, thank you!”

I walked to my SPN’s office, which took me 30 minutes, and after that, I walked to the film house for some coffee and that took me about 30 minutes. I tried to walk straight up, but I think I may have given the appearance of a drunk woman. You know how drunk people really do their best to walk like they are stone sober? Well, I looked like that. I could have gotten a ticket for disorderly conduct.

Well, it’s time to hang up. I have to change my music download list. Fo
r some reason I thought it would be interesting to have a French rapper on it, but now it seems that every other song is one of his, so I am deleting him out of the system and I am going to find something better instead, so wish me luck. I was thinking of Linkin Park, but I think they may be a bit too hip for us middle aged folks.

Gotta set my priorities, am I hip or am I middle aged, or am I middle aged because I am hip?

Have a wanky wooly Wednesday and for all of you people who don’t have a queen, I say, try it, you may like it. There are some noble houses floating around Europe who could use a country to rule over symbolically. Then you wouldn’t have such abnormal moral expectations of your presidents. You could transfer all of those feelings to your Royal Houses. They’re good for that.


P.S. One for the road.

Market Stall Fabrics.


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It’s the middle of the night and I woke up with a terrible pain in my foot. I must have slept with it twisted or something, because it is only slowly starting to feel better. I think I had it stuck between my mattress and that of Eduard’s. As a result of that, I am wide awake, because it really hurts. Now I have made some coffee and I am waiting for the pain to subside. I remember doing that as a kid once; sleeping wrong on my arm and waking up in the middle of the night with a terrible pain in my arm. Anyway…

Eduard was home for a change last night. He had to exchange his Thursday night for a Saturday night with his colleague and when I got ready to go to bed, Eduard went to bed as well, so that was cozy. The dog just didn’t know what to make of it, but I thought it was a good idea for Eduard to get caught up on a little bit of sleep. We both passed out in no time at all. We’re really showing our middle age here.

Eduard came home yesterday afternoon with a sample package of very expensive cat food that he got from a colleague, who had gotten it from her vet. Gandhi and Nouri happened to be home, so I divided it up between the two of them, and boy, did they wolf that down! They loved it! So now I will have to go out and get a part time job so we can buy the cats gourmet food. Although, their dishes are empty again after I gave them beef and poultry last night. But I do really wish that I could give them expensive food like that every day.

Yesterday was definitely an eight. Jesker and I hung out on the field at noon time and, even though it was hot and sunny, there was a bit of a breeze and that made it very pleasant. A sharpei came by with his owner on his leash. Right, he had his owner on the leash! Anyway, Jesker decided to protect me and his territory and started to bark and do fake attacks. When he chased the sharpei and his owner away, he came to me, wagging his stumpy tail, as if to say: aren’t I brave for protecting you? I didn’t praise him, because I really didn’t want him to do that, and I had a man to man talk with him about it.

Eduard weeded the rest of the flower beds and the dirt there is really hard, so if we want to plant anything there, it needs to be dug up and turned over and have some potting soil added to it. I think we are going to plant ivy there as a ground cover, since neither one of us is much in the mood for gardening. Mostly we just want it to look decent and keep the weeds from growing. I have a big pot that I can plant something colorful in, if I can just remember to water it. The chairs that we have out there, didn’t survive the winter very well and we are going to take them to the dump. My sister had two other chairs for us, but she just let me know that those also are falling apart, so one of these days we will have to get something completely new.

One of the things that I wrote about yesterday in my lost post, was the fact that the crown prince and his wife recently had their third child in 3 years and 4 months time. So, yes, if you are married to the crown prince, it is your duty to have as many healthy children in as short amount of time as possible. Anyway, it is a girl again and her name is Ariane. Her sisters are named Amalia and Alexia. Amalia is going to be our queen some day, as it is the first born who inherits the throne, whether or not it is a boy or a girl. So if they were to have a son down the line, he would not become king. Beatrix is our queen right now and she has always made it clear that she would not give up the throne until Alexander had started his family and had a chance to enjoy himself with his children and his wife. Therefore the quick succession of children, no doubt. The crown prince married for love and he and his wife are very popular. We think he will make a popular king and he will be our first king since king Willem III in the 19th century. It has been all queens since then. And by the way, the kids are really cute, blond haired and chubby cheeked and they are being raised as normal as is possible.

Yesterday we heard in the news that 9 million Dutch people live in the 2/3 of the country that would be below water if it weren’t for the sea and river dikes. Now it turns out that 25% of the dikes are not up to par when you consider that they have to stand up to rising water levels. So some major investing in strengthening the dikes is going to have to happen, but so far nobody knows where the money is going to come from. We are all serious about the climate change. We take it as a given and for a low lying country like the Netherlands, it can be a disaster. Of course, here in Limburg we are safe, because we are way above sea level. Still, houses and industrial complexes are being built in the low lying polders, and it is amazing that they are. American companies that build over here refuse to build in the polders and can’t believe anybody else would. Lots of people believe that in another twenty years most of Holland will be below water; that is the general public. My aunt lives in the province Zeeland (Sealand) and when you walk in her town, Vlissingen (Flushing), you see the dike with the water on the other side higher than the street level. That always sort of spooks me. In 1953, in a huge storm, some of the dikes broke and much of Zeeland was flooded. I would move if I lived there.

Yesterday, I checked what T-shirts and tank tops I had and decided there was not much there that I could wear in the short run, so I ordered two tank tops on line. One black one and one leopard print one. They’ll get here tomorrow and I haven’t told Eduard yet. I guess he’ll find out tomorrow. The elastic waist pants that I tightened, fit really well now and there is no way they are going to slide down. They are really comfortable to wear in the warmer weather and I can wear the tank tops with them. There is such a desire to look good, it just can’t be helped. I am compelled to look like a pretty woman.

Oh yes! I finally got a phone call yesterday from my friend Lucien. I didn’t know all this time what I should do. If I should have called her while she was having a hard time, or if I should wait for her to call me like she said she would. It was a dilemma, because I didn’t want to come across as being nosy and bothering her while she was not doing well. But I thought about her a lot. So yesterday afternoon she called and it was really good to hear her voice, and I am happy to say that she is doing well, which is really a relief. She had completely cut down on her antidepressants and as a result of that, had gone through a really bad time, but in the end had come out of that, and now she is doing well and having no depressions. Of course, I don’t know if depressions were her major problem, so it is hard to say if she will always be able to do without, but right now she is. She still takes other medications which go with the bipolar disorder, but she sound
s like she is doing really well. Anyway, she is going on vacation with her husband, and we made a date to meet up with each other after that, downtown, next month. I can’t wait. It will be good to see her.

I haven’t lost any weight for the past two or three days, as a matter of fact, I have gained some and I am really disgusted about it. I am being so careful about what I eat. No cookie has touched my lips, but the Obesitas Nurse Specialist did warn me that this could happen sometimes. I feel just the littlest bit bloated too. Maybe it is time to make myself a large mug of herbal laxative tea. When I step on the scales, it is such a disappointment and I want to mentally make myself lighter and defy gravity, but have found no way to do it! I think that, from now on, I am only going to eat one cracker with cheese in the evenings. As it is, Eduard has had to cut down on the amount of cheese that he buys at the open air market, because I am eating much less of it. Yesterday, I didn’t chew my apple carefully enough and had a piece stuck under my esophagus for a while, but it finally made its way down after I kept ignoring it. Sometimes I can do that.

It hasn’t rained since March the 22nd and it is the warmest April since record keeping started in 1716. The normal temperature at this time is 15 degrees Celsius. Today it is going to be 27. Next week is going to be a bit cooler, but there is still no rain in the forecast. It would be wonderful if it rained good and hard and soaked the ground really well. All the dust and pollen would get washed out of the air as well. The forests are also very dry now and there is going to be danger of fire. You people in the western USA are probably thinking: well, it is like this here all the time!

It is still pretty early and for some reason the cats are starting to line up already. I guess they’ve decided that they like beef and poultry after all. Lotje has already sat on the mouse pad. Jesker is asleep by my feet. The birds have started to sing outside, but it is still dark. It means it will be dawn soon. Eduard was up briefly to get a cup of coffee and some cookies, but has gone back to sleep. These are the last of the cookies, we’re not going to buy any more after this. They are too many tempting calories. Better to eat an apple or some yogurt or a piece of cheese.

Right, Lotje is making herself very clear now, I will have to feed the cats. Maybe more later…

Well, I walked the dog early. The sun was barely up and the field was still in the shade, so it was a bit chilly out, but I didn’t mind that. I made the mistake of wearing my sandals, so I couldn’t walk out onto the field, because it was very dewy. The dog made a half hearted attempt, but when he saw that I wasn’t following him, he turned around and came back as if to say: well, you’re no fun this morning! We saw Sasha, the German shepherd and she is always very well behaved, so the two dogs just walk past each other without much interest. They’re old acquaintances. Jesker doesn’t get too excited about all the familiar dogs, except for the little Maltese Lion, who is a castrated male, by the way. Jesker doesn’t have a clue, he’s just in love with that dog.

Eduard is up and I am going to get properly dressed and all that stuff. It’s going to be a long day. My foot finally stopped hurting…

P.S. I made myself a big mug of laxative tea with three spoons of sugar in it, otherwise it is not drinkable. Now I feel very full and I will postpone the apple that I normally have for breakfast until later. I’ve washed my hair with Head and Shoulders after Eduard had put the lotion on it last night. I suppose this is going to be a chronic problem for which there is no real relief. The lotion helps against the itching, but it doesn’t make it disappear. I am not going to get rid of the animals!

I have cleaned up the kitchen and I am on my way to clean up the bathroom now. I have CNN on for background noise. All those American voices! I am now used to listening to British voices on the BBC. Sometimes I watch German TV for fun, to see if my German is still up there. Mostly I can follow what is being said, or figure it out through the context.

Well, now I am off to the bathroom…

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