Today I weigh 100.3 kilos. I said a little prayer before I went on the scales in case yesterday was some kind of a fluke and it must have helped, so I am happy. So, 300 grams to go, or should I say 3 ounces, because that sounds even like less. 3 Ounces is nothing. A package of lunch meat and that’s it.
Yesterday I mopped the living room floor and to catch my breath, and to wait for it to dry, I sat on the edge of our bed. Unfortunately, I sat right in front of the mirror of the closet door and I saw myself sitting there and I looked absolutely ridiculous! I looked like the Goodyear blimp sitting there with my huge spare tire around my waist. I had never seen myself sitting down before and whatever beauty I possessed, was gone at that moment and all I saw was a very fat woman. I was so disgusted that I couldn’t even move for awhile, but I just kept looking at myself. Then I quickly got up and realized that that made the spare tire much less obvious, so now I see how I always have to stand up when I meet people, because sitting down squishes all the fat into one area. It wasn’t a pretty sight, it was very discouraging. Eduard was home and I told him about it, and he sympathised and agreed that I have got a ways to go yet, but that the rest of me looks so good already. If people could only see me from my breasts up, or from my legs down; it’s that middle part that needs to go! It bothered me for the rest of the day, but I was encouraged again when I went on the scales this morning. I do keep staying optimistic!
Yesterday the weather was oppressive. It felt like there was a storm brewing, but nothing happened. I had to use my inhaler once after Jesker and I hung out on the field at noon time. We had a good time for about half an hour, watching all the other dogs come by. Jesker laid there like he was the king of the realm watching his subjects pass by. He had a conversation with a dog by the gentleman farm behind the tall hedge. They took turns barking at each other. I do think that he really likes hanging out on the field in the afternoon. He just likes to lay there and see what happens, just as I do. It is a very pleasant way to spend some time and we won’t be able to do it next week because it will be raining then.
Yesterday was Remembrance Day. We remembered the dead from WW II and all the dead from wars and conflicts since that time. At 8 pm there was a ceremony at the National Monument on the Dam in Amsterdam. Dam Square was packed with people and just before 8 pm the Queen and the Prince of Orange placed a wreath by the monument and mayor Job Cohen made a speech about how much we owe the resistance fighters in WW II. Then taps was played and the church bells rang and then there were two minutes of silence all over the country. I am happy to say that it was really silent, on TV as well as here, so that was a relief, as we always worry about groups of young people, who are second generation immigrants, and who don’t understand the significance of the ceremony, causing a disturbance as has happened during some other ceremonies in the past. A poem was read by a high school student and then wreaths were placed by members of all of the different survivor groups, including the different factions of the armed forces and members of the government. Then 62 pupils of an elementary school placed flowers; 62 flowers to represent the 62 years since our liberation. After that everybody could come and place flowers and wreaths. It was an emotional ceremony and both Eduard and I were quite moved by it. It is so important to remember all the lessons from WW II, especially the one about genocide and the hatred for people who are other than ourselves and this is appropriate especially today when extreme right is rearing its ugly head and wanting us to feel fear and hatred toward groups of people in our community and country. Eduard and I refuse to do this in principle. So, moments to remember…
Today is Liberation Day, the day we were liberated from the Nazis after 5 long years of war, so it is a real day of celebration. Imagine the joy of all those people back then, it is almost impossible to. Only one generation separates us from those people who were liberated. That is a very short time in the history of mankind. Anyway, it is a day to celebrate and party, so it is a joyful day and I hope to see lots of flags out.
Five years ago, Pim Fortuyn, a popular politician in some layers of the population, was assassinated and the first thought on every body’s mind was: Please don’t let the killer be a Muslim, because then all hell will break loose. Well, the killer turned out to be an animal activist and all hell didn’t break loose, although the people who loved Fortuyn were devastated. They thought that he would have become prime minister in the then upcoming elections. This was a section of the population that was very unhappy with the then current politicians and they saw Pim Fortuyn as their savior. His political party won a lot of seats in the elections that followed, but because of a lot of infighting and disagreements between themselves this party has ceased to exist. Then, when the film maker Theo van Gogh was assassinated, the killer did turn out to be a Muslim, but all hell did not break loose as may have been expected. I think he was to obscure of a person to be well known by certain layers of the population. He was not an icon of the common man. Of course there was indignation and anger, but no vigilantes stormed the streets, while his murder was so vile, that you would have almost expected it. Such are the feelings in the general population. I don’t rightly know why I am telling you this, it is just an anecdote to show what goes on here. There is a right wing politician now, whose only point on his political agenda seems to be Muslim hatred and his party won 8 seats in the last elections. I personally know some people who voted for him. He has no other agenda than the Muslim question. His name is Geert Wilders and he dies his hair blond and I don’t know why he does. He is on some hit lists and gets extra protection, just like Ayaan Hirsi Ali did before she left for the States. He makes people feel fear and hatred off and for other groups in our country. Extremists such as neo-Nazis are happy about this. Mayor Job Cohen said yesterday in his speech, that when we start saying about certain groups of people that they are no longer free and equal, we become unequal and unfree ourselves, we become imprisoned with the imprisoned.
We can never forget the lessons of WW II, but look at what happened during the wars in former Yugoslavia. And look wh
at happens in Africa. How different population groups try to wipe each other of the face of the earth. History keeps repeating itself, sadly.
Okay, on to other things, but I am not only a ditsy, blond, fat lady concerned with my weight loss and clothing. Although I admit that they play a large role in my personal life. I am already worrying about my new clothes becoming to big on me and how I will have to borrow my sister’s sewing machine to make them smaller and about how often I will be able to do that. I think the elastic waist pants are definite keepers, so I will keep making them smaller as I shrink, because I don’t know if I will find any that comfortable again. I shouldn’t be to hard to do this. The tank tops are something else all together. I think I can make them smaller once without completely altering their shape, but I think that is it. One of my tunics is a wrap around, so that will last me awhile. Of course, it is fun to buy new clothes, but I see the worried look an Eduard’s face when I get something new, so I am really trying to limit myself to the absolute necessary. He realizes though that looking good is psychologically important too.
Yesterday I had a tall glass of juice, most of a pear, some Melba toast, some Couscous, and a piece of cheese and a tall glass of milk before I went to bed. I thought that was a lot of food, and I thought I might have overdone it. I was a little too full after I ate the pear and had to wait for it to settle down a bit. The Melba toast is very satisfying, but Jesker keeps forgetting that he doesn’t like it and sits and waits for a piece of it. The Couscous doesn’t even fill the dessert plate and now that I think about it, I should eat that with a small fork, so it will last longer. Good point!
I stayed up until 10 pm last night. I wasn’t nearly ready to go to bed at 9, even though I had gotten up so early in the morning. Eduard was home, so I watched a program that he was watching called Road Abusers. At 10 pm I made myself go to bed, even though I didn’t want to. I just wanted to stay up and simply had no interest in sleeping. I had to literally turn a switch in my brain to get into the right mode for sleeping. Anyway, I did my little going to sleep ritual and I did fall asleep while Eduard was watching Top Gear, which he loves. I slept until 5:30 this morning, so that’s not bad at all. I had lost my earring in bed, but luckily Eduard was briefly awake and he helped me look for it. The backing rolled under the bed, so Eduard got his flashlight out and found it. The things you do for love! Sing it, baby!
It’s quite funny when Eduard is home in the evening, because we have to share the TV. We take turns watching our programs, but of course, I am so used to having the TV all to myself, that I have to do the most of the sharing. The thing is, that especially for this, we have an extra TV in the bedroom, but neither one of us ever goes to watch that one. We like being together in the same room, whatever program is on. Now, Eduard will watch the commercial channels, while I don’t in principle. The adverts bother me too much. I’ve had enough of that in the States. I love to watch the BBC, because they have no commercials at all, but in Britain people pay a TV license fee. Here the Public TV has blocks of commercials only between the different programs, so you can go and do other things without missing anything. I wouldn’t mind paying a TV license fee if we could have the same quality of programs that the BBC offers or better if we also kept the commercial blocks. Dutch TV isn’t bad though, there are lots of very good shows, so I never really need to watch anything on the commercial channels.
Jesker has been out a few times now, but he is walking around a bit absentmindedly as if he isn’t quite awake yet. Eduard doesn’t have to work until Sunday evening and he has shut off his telephone again, so nobody will bother him. His colleague can call me in emergencies only. Otherwise everybody and their grandmother will be calling about anything and everything, because Eduard always has the solution to the problem. He has made himself irreplaceable. Well, that is what he is to me also. I shudder to think what I would do without him.
Jesker suddenly came to me very urgently, so I took him out and a good thing to, because I needed all the three baggies that I had with me. So he made his point. When I came home, the cats urgently needed to eat, so they have been fed, but Eduard had already made a new pot of coffee. Lovely!
Now I need to go take my medicines and do all the other appropriate things, so I’ll say goodbye for now and hope you all have a good one and think of us here today on Liberation Day…
Another Bright Day! 